I took a little ride around the village in a primitive trolley the other day and snapped this photo. What do you think is going on in it? I’ll let you know later this week…
C-Ville elders have chosen a new slogan for the village since it sunk like a stone (she’s a witch…burn her) in the city ratings. After a full weekend at a local resort the result was…Charlottesville: A Great Place to Live for All of Our Citizens.
I guess Merik belongs here in the village rather than ruling a slave planet (or at least being 2nd in command), since he was the First Citizen (yes…you need to know a bit of trivia to figure that one out).
I’ve heard the elders are considering this for the new song that all citizens must remember.
It’s a beautiful day here in Charlottesville,
A beautiful day for a harlot.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?…
Speaking of happy citizens, the leader of Virginia is all over the news today. Every local station has non-stop coverage of the situation. Jerry Falwell has died. I know I’m depressed about it. After all, he told us that 9/11 (the most overused date imaginable…and isn’t 911 the emergency number…what is up with that?) occurred because we didn’t give enough money to his church and share his beliefs. Damn amoral liberals, if only you would believe…then nothing bad would ever happen. Are you listening to me, citizen? This place is great. Now shut up and pay.
BREAKING NEWS: Seems as if a large number of youth are running around in the village this evening raising some havoc. At least three police cars and a police bike are involved in pursuit. Loud noises that may have been gunshots or firecrackers were heard in the Belmont/downtown areas.
As was originally reported here almost a year ago, VaVino is now shut down and is being Crapsized. He owns it and it is now closed and undergoing reconstruction on the inside and outside. They had a lovely sign out the other week that all the umbrellas used for outdoor dining were for sale.
I can picture it already. It will be renamed V, have live mediocre music playing almost every night, look like a hip warehouse on the inside, serve mediocre food at ridiculous prices, and continue to serve that rather miserable wine from Virginia (someone recently commented about how bad the wine is at the Paramount…since it is all Kluge “gas station” wine).
Crapitalization of the village rolls along. Show me the money.
Many places have banned talking on a cell phone while driving, but what about shooting guns? Seems as if a few people in cars popped shots at one another yesterday. Even the feds have gotten involved in this one.
Police have a vague description of the other car involved. The victim said it was white.
Can you help out?
The one and only book that claimed C-Ville was the #1 city in America has now decided the village is ranked 6, no 8, no 11,… 17, yes! C-Ville didn’t just take a minor dive, they plummeted all the way to #17.
One reason: we are the most expensive city in Virginia. Wow, we are #1 after all. I think we might also have the #1 ranking for teachers that know how to party.
Enough with the “I dump crap down by the river” Dave dude…real music is finally coming to Charlottesville.
In other news, the arrest of four for having a broken plastic bb gun while trying to film a movie at UVA continues to get press. I still wish they would arrest the 6 year old girl I saw who was popping those caps that you throw on the ground. I was out running 10 miles or so and didn’t have my terrorist-threat cell phone on me. Otherwise…
Time to ignore the village for a few days.
