outskirts: life and times in charlottesville

Who could possibly forget the fun we had four years ago when Playboy came to town. They shut down Chaps and Rapture for hours as photos were taken. A Hoo became Ms. October that year. Once again they are rolling in to town for Monday.

Some feel that TJ wouldn’t be happy with Playboy…but for some reason people always seem to use TJ’s name whenever press is going out of business (such as most of the newspapers in the country).

Which is it hoos? TJ likes freedom of press? TJ likes slavery? TJ likes women? TJ likes men? TJ likes tyranny? Since I never knew TJ…and I’m sure not a single ready knows TJ…I think you should stop saying what TJ likes. Except of course for me…I chat with TJ every day so can say anything I wish.

Right TJ?

Charlottesville is very windy, but during the past few weeks it has been missing. It returned today. Sirens have been rampant in the downtown area throughout the entire day. At one point in the morning four fire engines went zipping up the hill on High Street (where someone once pulled a gun on me). But a few fire engines was insignificant compared to the near disaster on the historic downtown mall.

The sky had cleared after a four day stretch with rain, drizzle, and fog. The wind had been gusting since around noon. For those on the mall the gusts were causing visibility to become close to zero due to the sand that was getting blown away from the $7.5 million dollar rebricking project. I could barely see but I heard the tearing of wood. One of the construction walls designed to keep pedestrians safe was suddenly shifting in wild sways.

Two people were walking along the wall. As the swaying grew wilder they were lucky that they decided to leap to the side. The wall launched from its mounts and decided to lay flat on the lovely fresh bricks. Both the pedestrians had fallen to the ground as they leaped towards safety, but after the thunderclap of wood hitting the bricks they dusted themselves off and left the scene. I’m sure C-Ville is glad they decided not to sue (as of this writing).

The gusts have continued throughout the day. At approximately 7pm three other blocks had walls that had collapsed. Due to basketball-related events I was not around to witness the additional wall collapses, but one can just hope that breeder results were not compromised. I guess.

Will the mall be repaired by the time I wander around on it on a Monday morning, or will the devastation persist? I can only hope that the Valley of the Skeletor is back to normal in the morrow.

From a loyal reader:

Do the police routinely allow TV news vans to park illegally in Charlottesville? This evening I saw two WVIR vans parked illegally. One was on the brick of the Mall near the skating rink. The van was blocking the curb ramp at the crosswalk on Water St. A photo of that van is now on The Hook’s blog. The other one was on a side street just off of the Downtown Mall. That van is in the attached photo. It was parked right next to a sign reading, “No Parking -Fire Lane -Tow Away Zone”.

Cordially,

Kevin Cox

Photo provided by K. Cox

I actually ran past the one that was pictured in the Hook’s blog and I almost tripped on the long cable that stretched from the van to the reporter. Of course I’m not going to complain since the reporter was cute

But seriously…I’ve never seen news vehicles obey any parking laws. The village wants good PR, so they let news vans park with no issues. Gotta keep the hand that feeds you clean (or some saying along those lines).

MJ unveiled his plans for a string of farewell concerts yesterday before 1,000 screaming children.

The superstar revealed this summer’s gigs will be his curtain call during a bizarre appearance at Monticello in Charlottesville.

Emotional Jacko, 50, said: “This is it. I mean it. This is it.”

The star, added: “A few years ago during my trial I started talking with Bubbles quite a bit in the evening. TJ started stopping by every now and then telling me about how much fun he had in this area, so I just had to see it and give it what the children around here want.”

He then paused, placed his hands over his heart, reached out and clasped hands with TJ, and bowed his head.

Jacko is to perform at least ten shows at Moticello beginning in July.

The Thriller singer gushed: “I love you so much. These will be my final show performances in TJ’s house. I’ll be performing the songs my fans (particularly the children) want to hear.

“This is the final curtain call. I’ll see you in July. And I love you. You have to know that. I love you, from the bottom of my heart.”

Security for paranoid Jackson’s appearance was unprecedented at Monticello. Everyone was frisked and had to walk through a body-scanner searching for weapons while bags went through X-ray machines.

A source said: “We’ve had superstars here from Bush to Kevin Bacon and this is the tightest security we have ever had. He requested it for his kids.”

But backstage staff at Monticello expecting impossible demands were amazed when Jacko asked only for a plate of vegetarian sandwiches, a bottle of wine, and some personal time with TJ.

He flew into Charlottesville from LA on Tuesday with children Prince Michael, ten, Paris, nine, and five-year-old Prince Michael II.

The star, cleared of child sex charges four years ago, is feared to have picked up a superbug during plastic surgery on his nose. As a side note, U2 may also play here in Charlottesville.

I continue to make a few changes here and there, but I’ve decided I’m happy with the new look. The theme is “young” and I’m sure a few bugs will pop up here and there. I still have lots of behind the scenes stuff to work on, but that is on the back burner until a week when I have lots of free time (aka never).

Feel free to let me know if there is something you want to see on the site. And if you ever has a news tip, be sure to let me know.

Snow started gently falling around 3pm this afternoon. The current forecast is for 4-8 inches followed by a bitter cold evening near the 10 degree mark. There is a good chance the village will get shut down for at least 4-8 days. As TJ used to say, one inch equals one day (although to be honest, no one had a clue what he was talking about).

I’ll be sure to keep you posted on Monday. I have a feeling @thecommute and @DailyProgress will have lots of info as well.

Morning Update: This snowpocalypse has crippled the village. Approximately 3 inches made it to the ground. Icicles are forming. Cars are spinning wildly across the area roads. I’m going to risk my life and go outside. I’m hoping that I make it back, but there are no guarantees. May my soul not get eaten by the white beast (aka our one storm of this decade).