Local police and riot squads are preparing for an estimated 25,000 people that will be paying $50 to have their picture taken with a true American hero, Joe The (unlicensed) Plumber.
Be sure to stop by Arch’s Frozen Yogurt to have your picture taken. Local resident feel that he is the best representative for this region since he is so similar to Thomas Jefferson in philosophy and their long lasting sociopolitical importance. To top that off, they both enjoyed a few smokes (although TJ had his own “cigs” if you know what I mean).
There is a rumor that Joe might even drop by the downtown mall to try to get the fountains working once again.
Time to go beg for a few bucks so I can get my picture taken! See ya’ll there. Authorities suggest you use mass transit rather than drive due to lack of parking on the corner, and the potential for snow covered roads.