This has been the hottest June in the history of the village, even if the temperature doesn’t get to 90 again this month. Luckily, the forecast is for 95ish degrees for the next 10 days, so there is no doubt we will bake.
Rumors have been circulating that the wind may blow, and that only means one thing…the power will go. Village elders haven’t publicly stated it, but there are rumblings that we are living on the cutting edge of power here in the village, and it may be getting worse.
During the rest of this summer they are thinking of doing rolling blackouts across the village to prevent circuits from blowing. Soon we’ll have power on the north side of the mall on even days, south side on odd. The ramifications of this disaster are unimaginable. Let’s face it, one side of the mall is good, the other is evil (even The Hook and C-Ville are on opposite sides). If I get forced to have to visit the evil side I won’t be happy.
The most dangerous part of this baked bean summer is trying to not get crushed by the falling IQ’s. They are falling all around. As locals wander around in this heat for their fourth cig of the morning the brain cells start to die from the excessive heat (plus cigs). It’s scary. Be sure to bring a brain cell umbrella with you whenever you have to venture outside (although being outside is not advisable until November when the weather changes).