As everyone knows (unless you live under a rock), Obama is rolling in to town. In a small village like Charlottesville this is going to cause massive change in our daily existence. Almost every road in this metropolitan (by ancient Mesopotamian levels) will be shut down for most of the day.

Since no signs are allowed I’ve heard that local protesters plan to wear t-shirts underneath their sweatshirts and do a unified striptease to reveal their body signature. Based on the proportion of locals I really hope they don’t accidentally pull their tees off with their sweatshirts.

Roads and businesses have been shut down during the visit, but the biggest threat to our civility is the cancellation of local school dances. It has been alleged that students are demanding some E in exchange for the cancellation. Dances may get cancelled, but those students need their fun.

The last thing I’ve heard is that a local band may do a rendition of Baracka Flacka Flames at the musical marshmallow this evening. Can’t wait to see the video of that on local news.