Ever since TJ had fun with the ladies this area has been a place where radical things happen. A street was turned in to a mall, the parking lot of our train station was turned from a dirt pile parking lot to a nice paved parking lot (oh wait…that modernizing hasn’t happened), a really fancy hotel was completed (never mind), and stadium style theaters came to town (hmm…I hear by 2020).
So it is no doubt that the massive fire ignited in a dumpster in front of Perriello’s office had a purpose. After an in-depth investigation it has become apparent that the action was due to a local political party that has had enough government.
A law was recently passed that has put unbearable restrictions on the local community. Section 10-124 has banned public urinating and/or defecating! This is not humane. How can one possibly survive under this oppression.
It hasn’t gotten quite as much press as other political parties, but the Pee Party has claimed responsibility. One member of the party said, “If humans can’t piss in public then how can we possibly survive after all government has been eliminated in the upcoming days. There will be no fire department, no police, and no schools. Fires will run rampant and Charlottesville will burn like Chicago did way back when in the days of cows and lanterns.”
The Pee Party (started in 1875 when UVA was rebuilding from the Great Fire) stands for Peeing Extinguishes Exothermics and their number one priority is to encourage people to piss whenever they see a fire. Another member said, “There is no better way to get quick response to flame…if you know what I mean.”
Unfortunately, the protest didn’t turn out very well. No one chose to piss and the local fire department was called to deal with the political attack. The Pee Party is planning their next attack.
[Special thanks to Mr. T for the video clip]