At some point the powers that beat developed a term called the heat index. It uses a formula to calculate the misery factor due to the outdoor temperature and humidity.

Here in the village the misery factor is very high. It has been unbearable since I returned from Missouri. Combine the heat and humidity and you find that our heat index hit 100 by noon. The long range forecast has no change for the next ten days (actually a bit worse in the middle of the week). Should I be happy that they only predict weather for ten days, or sad?

I have absolutely no desire to leave my air conditioning. Stepping outside is miserable. Locals will be out and about enjoying the indexable misery, eating a sandwich covered in mayo, pushing kids around, chatting about the lovely village of Charlottesville, and wondering how many petty crimes will happen this weekend (last week an anti-gay group tried to burn down a church).

Was the heat index designed purely to demonstrate the misery of the south? My dear, you can enjoy the south and the burning misery, but frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn..