outskirts: life and times in charlottesville

The August doldrums reign supreme here in the village of the damned. Every day is hot. It hasn’t rained for about three months. The villagers finally realized we have a drought going on, and they noticed this right when UVA got going and the village set a new record for water usage in one day. More than 14 million gallons. With just 40k of us, how many gallons does each person use?

I made it outside for a few moments this weekend. I saw quite a few terrorist walking around but the local authorities didn’t seem to care. Of course, I refer to the friendly local smokers who hold that known toxin right in front of their babies face. It is so cute to watch. I never quite get my camera out in time to snap photos of such a beautiful image, but if the temperature is every below 90 maybe I’ll have the energy.

Other local news includes a frat getting shut down the first week of class. Apparently they made a mistake of actually getting CAUGHT doing hazing and drinking. Why do does UVA even bother to pretend that something else goes on? Maybe the admins never leave the white Hoo building. While out dropping 15 pounds on my run today (so friggin hot) I heard a Hoo discussing that he hadn’t stopped drinking since last Thursday morning. He said the best way to avoid a hangover is to not stop drinking. He said he’ll probably sleep in tomorrow and get up around 6pm. Ahh…the good old days of youth.

The most interesting news is that most decisions around here are made base on the date of birth. If you share a birthday with Hitler you are in big trouble here in VA.

Back to hanging out with some macacas. Maybe my buddy George will pop by to break up the boredom.

I’m so damn bored. This village has killed me. I guess I’ll save up some energy and go water my shrubs. Gotta keep using water, since the remains of hurricane/tropical storm E might hit us next week (please…pretty please).

Tomorrow…a closer look at the monopolistic tendencies in the village.

The NFL season is going to start. Two weeks from tonight my Fins will take on the Super Bowl champ Steelers. I don’t know what will happen in that game, but I haven’t been this excited about the Fins in years.

They are currently losing to the Panthers, but their first teamers are sure looking good. One miscue on special teams, but you learn from mistakes. So much potential this year. I can’t wait until two weeks from tonight.

Is it a good thing for the #24 university in the country to have a nickname of Tight End University?

I don’t think I’d like that. It sounds a bit funny. I wonder if Plain Jane goes to UVA.

Can anyone in the village explain WHY they made the 4th Street underpass a one way underpass? Although I never drive (so I really shouldn’t care) this one still boggles me. I don’t know a single person that hasn’t zipped through in the incorrect fashion, even though they are well aware of the fact that they are doing it. I watch cabbies zip through. I watch students zip through. I watch teachers zip through. I’ve even seen people from the tribal council zipping through.

What was the point? Most people seem to think that the village elders don’t want tourists on the historic downtown mall to find themselves on the wrong side of the tracks. Is there a better answer?

C-Ville elders think about one way roads.

Speaking of the contemplative elders - they must have been reading this blog, since in the past few months they have added bike racks to the mall, fixed multiple sidewalks throughout the village (for the first time in seven years), and even added a bumpy border/curb across the mall for the 4th street crossing (on the pedestrian mall…which has cars and trucks running through it all day). All three gripes have been posted here in the past six months. At this rate the sidewalks should all be fixed by 2042.

Come on…raise the damn property values at least another 25% this year so more money can be raised! I’m all for it. Seriously.

In the current issue of the C-Ville Weekly they say “you heard it here first” and have a brief mention of Crapshaw buying up VaVino as he continues to buy up the entire village.

Outskirts actually broke that story three weeks ago. If you want to read about stuff in the village long before it makes it to the media, be sure to never miss a posting here on your favorite blog After all, I’ve never been wrong…have I?

Now…back to work looking for a new scoop. If you have anything to pass along be sure to drop me a line.

Same rat time, same rat station (AM - the village is still working on FM and TV).

Seems as if the local youth are trying to keep up with all the 18 year old students that rolled in to town this weekend. Why do we have something called the Key West Club here in central Virginia?

Party on Wayne. Party on Garth.

All day yesterday a cable stringing truck was weaving its way through Belmont (on a Sunday!) stringing cables from tree to tree and pole to pole. What could these new cables be for? High Def cable? Lines from some new/renamed phone company? The cable weaving continued throughout today as well.

I’ll go with the theory that it is for HD cable…which will become available before 2010 if things go well. Five years after that the rest of the local stations might go HD…if they are still here.

Can the village modernize? Should the village modernize and have things like toilets, indoor plumbing, and people that have the ability to read? I don’t know the answer to that one.

Believe it or not the new school year has arrived for the Hoos. As I was doing my run yesterday I got to listen to a few conversations. The funniest is when 3 guys bumped in to a buddy. The one discussed how trashed he had gotten last night, and that he hadn’t gotten up till 2pm. They couldn’t wait till this weekend when the Yada Yada Yada’s were throwing the E party. They discussed how much they were looking forward to another year of parties, and just hope no one OD’s.

Oh well, the fundamentals of our local economy are back at work. No wonder the ABC stores were all so overstocked when I dropped by the other day. After all, I need to keep up with the Hoos. Now, where can I get that stuff called E, and what exactly is it?

For anyone that has ever gotten a Mac we already know the truth, but here is a pretty funny article showing that every year you spend five times more trying to keep the PC running.

Get smart. Buy a Mac.

PS I do own a bit of Apple stock

Does anything of interest ever happen in this village in August? Ugh. Boredom has settled in.

At least football season is almost here. Can the Fins make it back to the playoffs? Will UVA finish last in the ACC? Can Michigan have a successful season? Can the Spartans win a few games?

How will the new TV season be? What will win, what will lose? Since I am a great prognosticator of which shows are good, I’ll give you my word on the new lineup as things get released. Studio 60 is really high on my must see list.

Are you ready for Snakes on a Plane? With all the security restrictions can you even get a snake on a plane?

When will Apple next update the iMac? I’ll be buying one as soon as they are announced. Maybe at the Paris Expo…or maybe then they’ll pump out the new video iPod (of course I need one of those also as soon as it goes widescreen).

If the village vanished would anyone even notice?