outskirts: life and times in charlottesville

I watched my Tivoed pilot episode of The Class last night. Nothing at all special about it, just a basic Friends clone. If I had the flu and nothing else of interest was on in HD I might watch it again…otherwise, it is off the radar.

I caught Jericho this evening. It felt similar to the Invasion show from ABC last year, or that other one (on NBC?) where the fish were taking over the planet. I never felt a connection to either of those, and I fear Bones is a bit more enjoyable than being trapped in a city where people worry about the children (did Michael “Thriller” Jackson sing something about children?). If Jericho makes it through the season maybe I’ll pick it up on DVD for summer doldrums next year.

I haven’t yet watched Smith from last night, and may or may not watch Kidnapped tonite. The Kidnapped synopsis says, “The son of a self-made millionaire vanishes on his way to school; a rebel investigator must retrieve the victim.” Aren’t there already six shows out that match that description? Ugh. There are at least a few well known actors in that one.

Thursday evening is loaded with TV this year. There are so many shows I’m going to have to contemplate when to Tivo all the various things (if only regulators would allow DTV subscribers to get both west and east coast HD feeds…but higher ups further reduced viewer freedom with that blow). Shark even pops up in the 10pm slot. With James Woods and Jeri ‘Melrose Place, Boston Public, 7 of 9, The OC, Boston Legal’ Ryan how could you possibly go wrong!

If you haven’t dropped over to my Flickr pics recently you should (because I told you to). They include shots of the local news getting ridiculed, a horse filing to get a sign from the village elders, some funky sidewalk gum placement, and a notice that the mall police are watching you.

Now…when does the new OC get cranked up this year…can we just skip baseball this fall? I hope my new/replacement iMac arrives before that. They say it should ship this week…and get here next week. I sure hope it has no scratches.

As the morning rush hour started (for those that missed the post last week, this is one of the worst places in the commonwealth) a semi decided to crash at an exit on 64 and catch on fire. People were up to three hours late getting to work due to traffic congestion.

Sirens were rampant. A few hours later another fire took down a house in Alllbeeemaharaaall county (that is the southern spelling). A few hours after that a fire erupted on the historic downtown mall. The same cigarette dumpster that ignites about once each month was spouting flames. I thought about “putting out the campfire” (if you know what I mean), but there were enough smokers standing around inhaling the burning ash that I figured I’d let them be.

image from last year, click for larger view

Both fires caused massive confusion in the area, but that was not the end of it. In crapshawvian fashion the Music Today building got evacuated as they found lots of ammonia in some supposedly empty pipes. From the story it sounds like they are used to getting told about chemicals in their fine offices.

I don’t know if I can handle this much happening in just one day.

One thing that is very true about this village is that they love history…or at least some of it. Rather than name a road after TJ’s favorite gal, the locals chose a football player.

In the past few years the village elders and the village puppet “crapshaw” master have taken the cute little hillbilly get together event called Fridays after five and have built a musical marshmallow with million dollar bathrooms. To top that off there may even be a bus stop.

My big question is where is the webcam video feed of this? If the city had bought a $49 webcam and put it in one of their windows (which look right at the marshmallow ground zero zone) we would have been able to watch the de/construction for the past few years. Other places have been doing this since the early 90’s. Instead they will probably scan a polaroid photo for a before/after picture.

One person did an interesting documentary about a development on Main Street. The complex still sits within swirling dry dusty winds from the Amtrack parking lot and more or less looks like a dumpy overpriced complex with big signs spanning buildings say units are still for sale.

Created by dvigour, hosted on YouTube

I think the mule must have been tired today so the village decided to suck all its energy out of me.

WWW: Package scheduled for pickup within 24 hours. Confirmation number provided.
Village (26 hours later): package hasn’t moved, although lots of others seem to have gone away…but not the one I had a confirmation number for.
Brrrring…brrringg…FedEx…how can I help you?
Me: I have a confirmation number but no confirmation that my package has moved.
FedEx: I can see that it is not yet on record, so I guess it hasn’t been picked up.
Me: And why is that? What does confirmation mean?
FedEx: We don’t know what happens in that area sir, so I can’t really say why it wasn’t picked up.
Me: Why is that?
FedEx: Because you live in Charlottesville.
Me: Thank you for your insight.
Click.

I got a lift to a FedEx place (the last time the spare mule leaves this town is 6pm) and sent my iMac on its way to California. Would have been nice if FedEx had actually made use of the number they gave me. Oh well.

I wanted to go to the gym (the new one may open next month after a two year delay) but I have no energy at all. Having to get up for another day here in this hot and humid cesspool of a village might kill me. Every day is the same. Every day is unsublime.

The entire issue of The C-Ville discussed the DBM (Dump Bowel Movement band — some mistakenly call it the DMB) and had a special foldout section. I think I heard that UVA will have his fiddle player speak at inauguration. “Ace” (our local czar of knowledge) was asked why there are no crosswalks on the main road through town (called 29 by some, Emmet by others, TJ’s Ho Drive by the elite). Ace called around and found out locals don’t walk and thus there is no need for such things.

My guess is that the village sucked all their energy and they don’t have enough left to walk. On the other hand, pastors seem to have a lot of energy.

If I could just get in the mindset that nothing should ever happen around here in less than a decade then maybe I would start to like this area. Of course making a decision such as like/dislike in just a decade would be considered radical down here. Now pass me a mint julep little lady, and make it snappy…spring is almost here.

At least Boston Legal is on tonite. If my HD feed from Richmond goes out I’ll be pissed as hell. My lack of energy combined with no local HD options might be the final straw. You never know.

What is tee vee young man…we just use that fancy AM ray-dye-o thing around here.

For those that watch The Office. Rather funny. For those that work in a cubicle…it will be funny, but you might cry.

Created by sharralah, hosted on YouTube

I wonder if the robber is trying to get these miserable non-stadium seating theaters to close up shop or modernize. Three robberies in three months at the local theater. No one would ever rob the same place for a fourth time…would they?

Today is the official start of 2006-7 TV season. Rating matter. New shows are in full swing. For some, such as FOX, the season is already old and they are hoping the baseball playoffs will have some large market teams.

Tonight is the series premiere of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Of all the shows this season I’m really hoping this one does well. Aaron Sorkin seems to be pretty good at this type of show. I really enjoyed watching the pilot episode (which is out on DVD) a month or two ago.

CBS is trying another Friends clone with The Class. I always give all new shows a chance, but I’m not hopeful on this one. It will go to the HD Tivo, cause I’ll be watching Prison Break. I wonder if they’ll get out of prison. Or will they get back in? I have no idea, but the show is fun.

Now…off for a run…

Since the NFL started the current playoff system three years ago on one team has started 0-2 and made it to the playoffs. That means just 1 out of 18 chances during that time. I remember when the Fins actually won a Super Bowl back in January 1974. The good old days.

Next week it is the Fins vs. Tennesse. The Titans will probably be 0-2 as well. In the past 32 years only 5 teams have started 0-3 and made it to the playoffs. The Dolphins are now 0-2 and have shown almost nothing offensively for the first two games, and their secondary gives up a minimum of one long touchdown per game.

I personally am hoping Harrington gets to play in the near future, since Dante doesn’t seem like much of a leader on the sidelines, and seems very confused about reading D when he has plenty of time to throw. In preseason Harrington looked far better than Dante. At the current rate I only get 14 more games to watch this year. The fall sure went quickly. This will be yet another depressing week of waiting to see if the Dolphins can figure out this concept of winning 7 days from now.

Odds say the Fins won’t be going anywhere…but there is always the chance of beating odds…just not much of a chance. The pointless nature of stats.

Update: One other fun stat. The Dolphins have started 0-2 six times since they became a team. The most wins they ever finished with is 6. Oh my.

I wanted to break this story three weeks ago but couldn’t get definitive confirmation. Rumor has it that the Crapper’s signature was just about to sign on the dotted line to buy yet another restaurant. He already bought A through W, and then he bought Z and Y. So what was left? X marks the spot.

The Hook added to this rumor today in the paper. From what this little bird heard he was planning on turning it in to a place where local bands could play, and people would be allowed to smoke at the bar. The deal was moments from completion, but the paper that the contract was on wasn’t to his liking, so things cooled off. Will the deal go through? The Hook will probably let us know soon enough.

Now, as for other news around the downtown village I’ve got some other hot scoop. Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful sip, that started in a coffee shop, within this tiny village. The focus is a mighty business man…so join me here next week my readers, you’re sure to get a smile, from one single outcast, here on C-Ville’s outskirts.

Rich successful person A in environment B has a break up with person C. A heads off to environment D, gets drunk and spills guts on day 1. On day 2 A begins to wander around in D. After having odd things happen on day 2, A decides staying in D is the best thing possible to get over C.

A = Heche
B = big city in mainland America
C = some guy who cheated on A
D = small city in Alaska

Life for A will be odd, but as the show moves forward everything will have a happy ending in D.

I’ve seen this once too often. Some of the bit characters were pretty good actors and probably just wanted to do this show so they could get up to Alaska for the pilot episode. I bet many of the future episodes will get filmed in a studio lot. To top off my feeling about this show they featured smoking throughout the show, waste of gas by driving around needlessly in big vehicles, and throwing litter (such as bridal gowns) in to a pristine Alaskan wilderness (that represented A breaking free from C and realizing she belonged in D).

The show is moving to Friday evening, so it will probably get a small group that watches it, but I don’t predict more than half a season (although you never know the power of women…which I think will be most of the viewers). In HD the scenes of Alaska were pretty nice. Last night it lost more than 20% of its viewers by the halfway point of the show when they fell asleep or looked to see what else was on. Never a good sign.

Tonight…nothing new.