OK…a quick wrap up some stories you may have missed here in C-Ville…are they real? I fear the answer is yes.

Mold, mildew, cracked pipes (more on crack later), scum, uncertain future, and peeling paint. Is this another story about conditions at Walter Reed? No. Just the city pools.

Someone decided to pop seven shots in to a house and eight shots in to a car. While out shooting things why just stop with non-living objects…shooting at people is also popular here in town.

The youth in town who “played a prank” by making a few fake pipe bombs decided to apologize. I don’t know about you, but it sounds like it was written by a lawyer who was told the kids don’t want to spend their youth in prison. While there, I’m sure they would become professional smokers…and speaking of which…

Locals are panicking that a smoking ban (an amendment that will try to pass this Wednesday) will crush local business. I guess the locals don’t know how to read research articles (many external links). I know I would spend far more money while out on the town if I wasn’t sick of a) breathing all the smoke, and b) watching parents light up in front of their kids. I will personally campaign for Kaine (that is actually a good slogan) if he can get smoking banned in restaurants in this tobacco stronghold.

I used to wake up every morning to a true “morning cough” of a smoker that lived across the street. That smoker has now done one too many cigs, if you know what I mean. Is it considered your last smoke when you get cremated? The new morning cough is a few houses away, so no longer deafening.

And speaking of things you can smoke, I wonder if this drug deal gone bad involved something you could smoke, or if it was just some pills or needle-ish thing. Crank. Crack. Smack. Crackle. Pop. Mmmm….cereal. I guess the stabber is still out there running around trying to bring home the bacon.

Parking lot. Deceased infant. Judge Advocate General’s Center. Charlottesville? Looks that way. No other local sites have that story, and it took place on Friday. Odd indeed.