outskirts: life and times in charlottesville

As Kaine once again tries to ban smoking in restaurants and bars (odds say that won’t happen in my lifetime) it just makes you think a bit more about what a backwards region this is. Education is middle of the road. Poverty is high (can you believe 40% of the kids in C-Ville can’t afford lunch?). Smoking rate is extraordinary. This area hasn’t advanced in a long, long time.

I hear lots of stories about Hillary crying, Oprahbama giving us hopes and dreams, Huckabillyboy telling us that we are slaves to God, Giuliani using the expression 9/11 in every other sentence, and McCain getting funky, but none of it matters here in Virginia. We are lower than a macaca. After most states have voted we will then vote. The primaries won’t matter. Is that a good thing?

I continue to wonder why people in this area care about politics. We have mini-islands that vote blue (even though their actions are as red as blood - can you say BAR or Crapshaw), and then a sea of red (NOVA is always excluded from VA…since they have civilization). God fearing, pig foot lovin folk. So why care about politics? Our vote has no meaning at all. We are in the lower percentile.

Not votin feels mighty fine to me ya all. Now go enjoy a smoke, some shine, and your big ass Cho-ish gun. Ye haw. Real world Virginia. Will you tell me a story Huckabillyboy? Will Stephen Colbert be in it?

Shot from New Year’s Eve. Is this what First Night should look like?

This construction (on a half block) was supposed to be done months ago. I’m sure the city went with the lowest bidder and agreed to a pay-by-day plan.

The number of visitors is at a 30 year low at Monticello. I really wish they would once again start the TJ’s Ho House promotion. It seems to bring in far more people. After all…Virginia is for lovers (and we also love a few spare bucks…right?).

Remember that little TJ cartoon (middle cartoon near middle of page) that sparked the controversy last year? Controversy is always good…right?

Is a credit card a new fangled hoo daddy thingy? I think I heardz of them thar thingz.

Why can’t this village take credit card payments without slapping $5 service fees on the payment, or not even take them at all for many things.

In the modern world you can buy a bagel or a gun with a credit card (although real Virginians would never have a paper/electronic record of their gun purchases!), but you can’t use one here.

This village is as bland as white rice. I wonder how that would taste with a boiled ear. Hmm…

Will we hit the big 70 tomorrow or Tuesday? There is a good chance. I haven’t done much exercise since I ran the marathon in November. I’m feeling totally out of shape. Tomorrow will be the first time I’ve run in a long time. A really slow five miles is the plan.

Since spring has arrived it is time to start getting back in a regular routine. There are always more windmills to attack. One marathon…not the last. Speaking of the last marathon, my toenail that got toasted in that one is days away from giving up its fight, and is about to jump off my toe. Just the back corner is still hanging on.

So who is really grossed out now?

In case you don’t read the Daily Progress (aka Regress) there was an article in today’s edition that talked about the Goody’s store in Barracks Rd. Mall which is shutting down later this month. The article hasn’t made it online yet (why is that?) so I’m paraphrasing the quotation…but this is pretty close.

A reporter was interviewing some high level person from the mall who said,

Goody’s just didn’t fit in with the rest of the mall. Charlottesville is an affluent area. We aren’t like Roanoke or Lynchburg. The students in this area are affluent, along with the local residents, and we hope the new store that moves in to that location will target the local community.

Did you folks down there in the noke and burg catch that article? You’ve been dissed!

Will it really get down to 13 tonight? Will I have to turn my heat on? I’m sure this will end up being the coldest night of the wintertime. Mid 60’s will be back by the weekend…so much closer to normal.

It’s been two long years since the devil lost his election in C-Ville’s district. And it burned inside his mind the way he suffered that defeat. In the darkest pits of the village the devil hatched a radio broadcast plan.

Looks like The Schilling Show will air from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. Monday through Friday and from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. Saturdays. First topic of discussion: True or false…Mama’s little baby loves shortnin’ bread. The devil’s dream is that he can win, but Johnny is the best that’s ever been.

Will the Devil run for Mayor? I’ll vote for him.

In my prognostications I said someone would get pissed and pull down the one way sign before zipping under 4^th Street underpass as a train shut down the area…but someone took the other approach.

Police and rescue crews responded to an accident involving a train and a car at 2^nd St. Southwest and Water Street in Charlottesville…. Police said the railroad crossing arm was down and the train’s whistle was blowing, but the driver tried to beat the train and drive around the arms.

Photo from WCAV story.

They should have gone with my idea. Pulling down a sign is much easier than running in to a train. Oh well. I’ll still call my predication on this one a done deal. Fourteen to go.

Although off topic I noticed this line from the story, “The 44-year-old driver of the car was scene walking around after the accident. He was the only person in the car.” Although my English is weak (I’m a doctor, not a English teacher/bricklayer), but the word scene sure made a seen in that sentence. [Ugh...that joke made me groan as I typed]

Additional coverage: The Hook or NBC 29.

So what will happen here in the village during the upcoming calendar year? Here are my first fifteen prognostications that ventured out of my head. Take them for what they are worth. I’m sure I’ll spew out a few more thoughts in the upcoming months!

1. At least one additional chain store will make it on to the historic downtown mall. Since hot cheese in a bucket is there why can’t we get more.
2. 3^rd Street will get bricked over, but the crime level outside of R2 won’t be affected.
3. Village elders will argue over the temporary mall crossing for the rest of the year leaving 4^th Street as is.
4. The village will make another deal with the Crapshaw so that he can further his ownership of the music, land, and restaurant biz near the mall. The village will feel good that they will get $1/year so that things sound better (except of course for additional noise complaints from local residents).
5. Two stores that have been on the historic mall for many moons will go the way of the dinosaur.
6. The city will spend big bucks to improve the ‘follow the three presidents’ signs that lead tourists to the mall. Maybe the elders have learned that most people have no clue that three presidents have lived in this area. I hear TJ’s still in office…right?
7. Repairs won’t start on Belmont Bridge despite the fact that it isn’t stable. This is because the underside was covered with wood so chunks won’t ‘Big Dig’ on to the cars that park below.
8. The bus system won’t get changed for the better (if only the elders would listen to the kevin…or even the devil). Seems better to add complexity to a broken system. Nothing better than chaos.
9. The population won’t make it over 40k in the 2008 census. Elders will tweak things and find residents.
10. The one-way 4th Street underpass will piss someone off so much as a train is trundling along blocking all crossings that they will remove the signs before proceeding under the tracks.
11. The local stations won’t start broadcasting in high def (other than NBC29 which did modernize a few years ago). The local stations are already warning us that we only have 414 days to update our technology. Nothing like living in the 80’s.
12. UVA will have another mediocre year of football, but the Groh(n) boys will continue to take home the bucks. Does 8-5 sound about right, along with a loss in the Spare Tire Bowl?
13. One of the smart local kids will finally get around to using a paintball gun on the musical marshmallow.
14. Cameras for the historic downtown mall will get ordered after heated debate, but they will be stolen before they get turned on.
15. Someone who has been here a long, long time will hit the wagon trail and migrate out of town.

What do you readers think?