When I wake up I sometimes feel hope…that I am anywhere other than this pissy sh*t little village. Maybe I should hang out with people that drive around in vans (the investigation rolls on…how much is there to investigate in a van down by the river?).

The Hoos have 5 billion sitting around in their coffers and keep sending me a letter every week asking for money. Can I ask them for money until we call it even at 2.5 billion? Until that…stop bothering me.

T-Shirt of the day: A confederate flag in the center of a black tee. Above it was the word Redneck. Below it was “Hell yes.” The woman wearing it was probably 22 but looked closer to 52 with that ghastly “I smoke 5 packs a day” tan to her skin.

Is there ANYONE in town that has that look worse than the hallmark hag on the mall? I’m surprised she hasn’t killed her dog with smoke (of course her dog is a rat, so it can survive most tortures…such as waterboarding, being enveloped by smoke, or living in C-Ville). Nothing tops going in to buy a get well card for someone in the hospital (the baby switching one of course) and having to walk through a dark haze of carcinogens.

There was a recent local story about the Dave Matthews Band (aka Dump Bowel Movement Band) being the “greenest band” in the country. How can anyone possibly forget that they just decided to dump all their shit from a bridge in Chicago when they were on tour. Is that really considered a green thing to do? Perhaps they should just be called a brown-ish band. I’m glad C-Ville considers DBM the superstar of town….where everyone wants to grow up to be him. That really does make this a crappy little town.

Charlottesville…the world class city. If you only count the third world. Can we get that painted up on a sign for one million?