Over the weekend the insidious “Crozet Kidnappers” struck right on the corner and took a UVA student hostage.

One anonymous source believes this could be a gang initiation task for those trying to join the CK’s.

In other news three were arrested for graffiti in a local graveyard. Could this be the end of the Smiley Face Gang? We’ll see. Two of the three sobered up and had a meal at jail but were then released.

Insiders say that each person in the gang was responsible for specific parts of the smiley face. I wonder if the faces will now be missing one part, such as an eye or a nose. That would be sad. It was always nice seeing a new face smiling in the morning.