outskirts: life and times in charlottesville

I’ve been a bit quiet lately. It is the village. Not much happens. Of course the top news story tonite is titled, “Missing Hot Dog Found Buried in Trailer Park.” A lot of jokes could be made about that…but the spring allergies continue to suck all my energy. A picture is worth a thousand words.

As for the poll about the hottest at NBC29, I’ve had to pull that briefly due to fighting spambots on the site and some security I’ve added. Hopefully will get it back up this weekend. It is certainly a close race for the top spot!

I hope the hot dog doesn’t sneak in and win the contest

From what I hear the toilets in the city hall building have decided to stop functioning. Sh*t is everywhere. Is that irony?

Following that thread the “I put the kibosh on you” was out between A&N and (Don’t) Order from Horder saying, “This place has been empty for years and it looks like sh*t,” as he looked towards his empty A&N building. Did he start the morning by reading outskirts?

Yet another store will be closing up shop on the historic downtown mall. Order from Horder is going out of business. I seem to recall they said they weren’t at all worried about that big chain moving in on the outskirts of the mall. Guess they should have been worried.

I sure hope the “I put the Kibosh on you” landlord doesn’t own the property. If he does we’ll have the new slum side of the mall since OfH is right across the street from the former A&N building. I predict the A&N will remain empty for at least another two years.

OK…due to excessive feedback I had to add a few more names to the NBC29 Hot or Not poll. I know they will be starting from behind, but hey…we’ll see how it goes. I think it is pretty clear that we have a frontrunner or two already. New pictures will get put up tomorrow.

After NBC29 we’ll head over to the other local networks and see what’s up over there. The top three from each network will make it in to the next round. Who will win the first annual Outskirts Award for Hottest of the Hot in Local Media Award? I have my favorite…but we can’t give away any secrets at this point of time The winner will receive $50 to donate to any charity of their choice.

Now…on to real news….

In the old (aka pre-web) days you could move to a new town when you wanted to and leave life behind. Stories, rumors, innuendo, and all that could be left behind. In the world today that is much harder. Wikipedia tracks you if you are famous or worthwhile, court records are posted online, and pointless blogs like this will continue to remind people that DMB is really DBM (the bowel movement dumpin’ band). Where has personal freedom gone, and does anyone really care?

And that brings us to the past. A tipster let me know that one person from NBC29 had a bad incident one night while out having a bit of fun. I personally think she has moved to a great location now. Based on some of my habits I think we might get along really well (drop me a line anytime). I enjoyed the half marathon after three martinis…although my time wasn’t quite as good as last year.

Another NBC29′er left here and is now a top dog in NYC (on a competitive network of course). CHO (the city, not the mass murderer) to NYC. Good deal. I wonder what he now thinks of the village. I know Tina Fey said in an interview that there really isn’t anything to remember about this place. She came, she saw, she left. The smart approach. Don Shula was here many years ago and said he’s never been back to Charlottesville, “It’s a little bit out of the way,” he said — but he remembers a well-groomed golf course on the outskirts of town. Gotta love the term outskirts getting in there!

So the final question. Does the past really matter? Good, bad, or otherwise?

No. Except of course for sports where you never forget.

The poll this week has drawn quite a bit of attention from readers that dropped me email. Some have requested other NBC29 people get added, and others have let me know a few tidbits of info about some of the NBC29 celebrities.

More info will get posted this weekend…developing story…

In other news, don’t go outside on Saturday unless you want to get taken down by 30,000 drunk people going out to stand in 80+ degree heat and thunderstorms, watch horsies jump around (caution: death of horsies is possible), eat barbecued pigs, and drink till they pass out in mud. That is what makes the south the place to die young (as life expectancy here in the south plummets).

Instead of spending hours driving out there, the locals should just walk/jog out there. It really isn’t very far you know. Of course, you would then stand a good chance of getting run down. They love doing that to pedestrians around here.

Update: Won’t get around to posting new info until Monday evening.

The last poll was for the best news site in town. cVillian and Outskirts ended up in a tie. If only I had voted for my own site. I of course went with The Hook blog. Always a good source of pointless news (which sums up the entire village).

In any event, a new poll is up. Since NBC29 just went to HD news I figured I’d start with them. Who is the hottest of the hot? Pick your favorite. Below is a quick snapshot, but be sure to check out the full profiles before you vote. Rock the vote!

Tomorrow morning is the last run of the season here in central VA. The only other one is on July 4th. I guess there are no humans around here during the rest of the summer. The locals are rather rich and jet off to Europe for the summer. In September some runs get going again.

I’ll take a shot at the half marathon tomorrow. In prior years they just did one identical shirt for the half/full marathon. This year they have different shirts. I guess some felt slighted by others. Fulls are better than halfs.

The farce of a local music scene cranks up tonite at the Musical Marshmallow. People from around the area will show up for a free show. Cigs, whiskey, and banjos will be everywhere. Nothing tops giving your 2 year old their first cig at an outdoor concert in brutal heat/humidity.

As the music winds down people will try to leave the area. Walking more than 50 feet from the marshmallow can be dangerous. Who can possibly forget the beatings that happened last year. The highlight of them all was the one on Belmont Bridge at just after 9pm last summer when two people were attacked. For about 9 weeks in a row a beating took place. Will this be another Summer of C-Ville Sam?

If you see a beating taking place be sure to contact the proper authorities. It is good to constantly stay on your cell phone to report crime immediately (this was the technique that saved a UVA student a few months ago). You should also carry a flashlight so you can see criminals hiding in bushes. And since this is Virginia, be sure to bring your gun. You keep it loaded and in your pants or coat with one hand on it and the safety off so that you can respond quickly….just like Kyle in the Tech-Noir.

Some woman killed someone. This happened 3 days ago and I have seen no update posted anywhere. Did the police just sweep this one under the rug? Was it a “one day before the Ides of April” Fools’ day story?

I guess she isn’t involved with this stabbing that got reported a few minutes ago. Pretty much every story around here always contains the phrase, “the victim is not helping authorities.” Does that give you the slightest clue that gangs are rampant around here?

Speaking of rampant…drugs abound. Eight were arrested on federal charges today.

Now, does the person that robbed the donations to the American Cancer Society top the list of criminals this week? Or the hot dog burglar?

Gotta love local news.

Over the weekend the insidious “Crozet Kidnappers” struck right on the corner and took a UVA student hostage.

One anonymous source believes this could be a gang initiation task for those trying to join the CK’s.

In other news three were arrested for graffiti in a local graveyard. Could this be the end of the Smiley Face Gang? We’ll see. Two of the three sobered up and had a meal at jail but were then released.

Insiders say that each person in the gang was responsible for specific parts of the smiley face. I wonder if the faces will now be missing one part, such as an eye or a nose. That would be sad. It was always nice seeing a new face smiling in the morning.