outskirts: life and times in charlottesville

…small town life

I noticed a few of these showed up in the village in the past few days. Is this some sort of political campaign? Maybe this was a prelude to the Ralph Nader announcement. How long will it take the village to cover it with gray? I’d go with less than a week.

Close Up Grin
This face smiles at you as you walk from the mall to Belmont.

How many more of these are around? There is one over at Barracks Road Mall I’ve never noticed before. Did that just show up this weekend as well? Any other reports?

I wonder if the sketch artist or eyewitness watches American Idol…since there sure is a bit of a similarity between the possible Idol and the suspected robber.

2 different people?

Almost a mirror image!

Is it sweeps week? Must be. Stories involving husbands, prostitutes, and the web always show up at that time.

Virginia is #2 in frying people (aka death penalty). This guy will keep our numbers high. This guy won’t fry, but won’t be doing any BBQ’s in the near future.

Daily life in C-Ville. Not exactly a paradise.

I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry, but a store owner on the historic (tourist attraction/highlight of C-Ville/home of musical marshmallow/resting place of freedom wall) downtown mall had a pretty good business going in terms of drug deals. Dope, crack, bootleg DVD’s, guns…you name it.

What the story forgot to mention in the story is that the store (Sexshuns…should the name have raised eyebrows? How did the BAR ever approve that name next to kiddie places?) is about 100 feet from the Charlottesville Police Department. What is that old expression…keep your druggies close, but the police even closer.

The store overlooks the Freedom Wall. Is that funny? And the kiddie museum and carousel. And I’d be willing to be the security camera that overlooks the carousel might have some good footage…if they actually have that turned on.

Now…where is our downtown mall surveillance camera system? Bad boys, bad boys…whatcha gonna do.

Anyone else getting bored with the routine gunshots at the Outback Lodge? Why don’t they just use a flamethrower or grenade launcher? Seems to me that would solve the problem in one fell swoop. It always worked pretty well in the Alien flicks.

Is UVA getting ready to offer a new major, or were these students just thinking outside the box?

Maybe they should offer a class in driving skills. Fool me once - shame on you. Fool me twice - shame on me. Fool me a third time…is that a B.S.?

It is a bit amusing that the police are going to start cracking down on drivers that don’t yield to pedestrians.

Drivers certainly like to mow down people around here. I even got grazed by a school bus that didn’t seem to notice the light was red yesterday morning.

Of course, pedestrians aren’t the only thing local drivers target. Some do a few drinks in the morning and then head out to run down pregnant women in SUV’s.

I am somewhat amazed at miserable driving in this area. As I jogged up Main Street yesterday I watched a car stop at a red light during rush hour. For no reason at all it suddenly decided that the light had changed and it pulled right out in to traffic. Horns blared, brakes squealed, and vehicles stopped.

Nothing touched. The car that had migrated through the red light decided it had started crossing so it might as well continue. It quickly sped ahead. One minute later I passed the car since it was at the next light (rush hour you know) where it was stuck behind someone that didn’t feel like driving through the red light.

OK…are all of you drivers ready to go mow someone down tomorrow morning? I’m sure you are all good drivers. I think we just have a Christine here in town. Yep. That’s it.

Yet another loss for the Fins. 0-6. If they didn’t play the Jets later this year I’d be willing to be my life savings that they won’t win this season. Every week there are glimpses of potential, but it is equivalent to finding a diamond in a coal mine.

The day I moved to this village is the day the Fins started becoming a bad team. They have continued to get worse and worse as I have lived here. If they lose next week (against the best team in the NFL) they will establish a new record for the club by starting out 0-7. The worst start in the 50 year history of the team. Truly sad. Watching the Fins in the past three years makes me feel as happy as these locals. At least guns are easy to buy in this state. Waiting time….0 days. What you can do with the gun…priceless.

Next up…unbeaten New England. Prediction for game: NE 73, Miami 17. Of course, the last time the Fins won was against NE in December 2006 (that’s right…the Fins haven’t won in ten months). Is that a 400 carat diamond over there in my garbage can?

Yet another day where we set a record high. There is a rumor that Thursday might finally cool off. 95 in October is just not fun. Neither is 90…for the past three weeks. And we are still waiting for our first raindrop since July. Not looking good.

The heat clearly brings out the entertainment in the local community. One local decided to go on the run (not good in this heat) to avoid getting arrested for a bit of sodomy. Another took a more relaxing approach of sitting inside with air conditioning while downloading pics of some kiddies.

There is a rumor going around that someone drove right through the Mono Loco patio on Saturday morning during that pointless city market thing the other day. Can anyone confirm that? There seem to be no news postings related to it. Perhaps it was a former UVA football coach out driving around a bit after a bit of the schnapps and the news story was just scrubbed away to nothing.

Yesterday I went out for a long run. 20 miles. My marathon training continues. While out on rural country roads (more than one mile from downtown mall) I often see groups of bicyclists zip by.

It seems as if groups on bikes also like to rob people in this village, so they next time you see a few kids biking up your street — run for your life and call 911.

And over at UVA a little scuffle broke out and someone was stabbed in the head and arm (just a flesh wound…since he was released from the hospital). The story says, “Police say that alcohol was a factor and played a part in preventing police from getting statements from witnesses.” I just have to wonder why alcohol would prevent police from getting statements. Were the witnesses so drunk and drugged up that they didn’t remember anything? Were they passed out during the entire thing? Or did they all just run since they were under age drinkers?

Now, back to reading about sex offenders. There sure are a lot around here. Local schools, cities named after guns, other local schools, local churches…So very Virginia. Oh wait…no…A Great Place to Live for All of Our Citizens.