outskirts: life and times in charlottesville

A few years ago when Paramount opened up I was hoping we would get some touring broadway visiting, but the place was just a bit small. JPJ has now been around for a bit and for the upcoming year they will be getting touring shows. Will we get any named stars on our tour?

In any event, I’ll be there bright and early the day the tickets go on sale to pick up my season. I’ve seen them all a few times, but always enjoy them. Do the shows only stay in town for one night? I’m used to 3-4 week runs. If only one night that would seem like a pretty rinky dink version of the show…

I’m just so fu*king tired. This village kills people. I think my eyes are falling out of my head. I feel like I’m in Minority Report and I’m drinking rotten milk while having my eyes replaced.

Will my old eyes go rolling down a drain? Would that break rules about “clean” drains. Of course I’m now used to looking at the cute little fish sign painted next to the drain, where a car is leaking oil in to it. Eyes and oil. A great combo.

This village is full of kids. Kids rule. All kids are perfect. All kids run around screaming at every establishment - including bars on Friday evenings. I really think all parents in this village snapped and no longer notice what their kids are doing. Once in Bodo’s a result started screaming and pulling napkins and silverware out of the dispensers. The parent said, “stop before I get to 10,” and started counting. The kid stopped at 9 after having removed every napkin. Between each number from 1 to 9 the parent just chatted with another parent.

I still haven’t forgotten the day when I walked in to a pizza place (that shall remain nameless…let’s just call it Christian’s for this blog posting) that is really popular among parents and got to see a parent changing a diaper on a table. I hadn’t really thought about it for awhile until a former C-Ville resident pointed out a blog posting to me.

The blogger talked about how inconvenienced he was when a chain store didn’t have a diaper changing area. The post was clearly by a C-Ville-ish sort of parent, but things don’t get interesting until the comments start up.

My favorite is by Doodle Bean:

Just imagine the idiocy of anyone daring to inconvenience you and your little family, the obvious center of the universe! How dare they!!!

And Starbucks was simply horrible! They should have had a special area set aside for such vitally important people as you and your little family! And why couldn’t they furnish it especially to your tastes?!? What is the matter with them?!?!

Why couldn’t they have a special area for you, perhaps hung with luxurious fabrics and furnished with soft Persian carpets. Perhaps with a selection of special emollients for your special little child’s behind?

How horrible of them to neglect you and abuse your little family so badly. Shame on them!

That of course was the polite/dry/sarcastic comment. Others aren’t quite as family oriented…if you know what I mean. So don’t let your kids read them. 1….2….3….

PS. If you want some books for your kids, here are 40 that are worth a read.

Gary Gygax, the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons and the father of modern role-playing games, has died.

Sad.

Picture of book I still have this book kicking around.

The running season here in the village got started with a 5k on Saturday morning. It was a pretty good temperature, but the wind was rather gusty. For my first timed run of the year I came in at 22:30. Not great…but under 25, so I get to live for another year (first year I can’t get done in under 25 is when it all ends).

Upcoming races: MJ8k, Run for Life, 10 miler, half/full marathon (not sure if I want to try the full one over the hills around here), and the Kiwanis 5k. That takes it to July 4.

I signed up for the NYC marathon and hope I get in via the lottery. Will try to run one or two other marathons this year…but I really should go see the knee guy in town one of these days.

As for my weight loss gameplan. Last Saturday I weighed in at 163. Now down to 160. Working towards 150. I see a salad for lunch tomorrow…plus a run, since it will be 70 degrees (sure is tough in the winter here…has snow day written all over it).

I’d post some news from the village…but lordy…nothing ever happens here. I really wonder why local news folks don’t all flip due to boredom. I bet alcoholism is really high among them. More on this topic on another day. Boredom has drained my brain.

I hadn’t stepped on a scale since before I ran the marathon back in November. I have been feeling a bit “heavy” lately, so I dusted it off and took a step on to it. Not a pretty sight. I’m almost 10% overweight.

I have to drop an even dozen (pounds that is…not eggs). I’ll give myself a ten week deadline. Although optimistically I’ll go with seven weeks. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll be posting weekly updates.

If it works I guess I should write a “Diet with Outskirts Guy” book. Chapter 1: Eat less. Chapter 2: Workout more. Guess that is about it.

Do taxes
Work out
Drink
Do dishes

Not necessarily in that order.

I don’t know how many more of these 60+ degree winter days I can handle. It has snowed twice this year. Twice. A total of 4.5 inches. They claim our average is 24 inches. There is no snow in the forecast for the next 15 days. I’m willing to bet we won’t see another flake. We only got flakes for about 5 hours this year. Will I ever get to wear my winter coat here in Virginia? It is time to market this area as a dry brown area that lives in a state of permanent decay, and not a four season paradise.

Maybe the heat is due to all the smokers around here. Since the authorities love smoking (and will NEVER ban smoking at restaurants/bars), and promote death to children, I guess there is not much to do. Maybe I should go buy a pack and puff away the rest of the evening. Like the rest of the refuse in this state (remember…NOVA is not part of VA).

The big topic of discussion amongst the locals was the guy who went ballistic in the midwest. Do you think he felt inferior to the Virginia shooter just before he offed himself? Do you think all student shooters will feel inferior compared to Cho? There just aren’t enough statistics to analyze this issue. Such is life.

Go CHO. [Note: This is the slogan for the Charlottesville airport.]

Will we hit the big 70 tomorrow or Tuesday? There is a good chance. I haven’t done much exercise since I ran the marathon in November. I’m feeling totally out of shape. Tomorrow will be the first time I’ve run in a long time. A really slow five miles is the plan.

Since spring has arrived it is time to start getting back in a regular routine. There are always more windmills to attack. One marathon…not the last. Speaking of the last marathon, my toenail that got toasted in that one is days away from giving up its fight, and is about to jump off my toe. Just the back corner is still hanging on.

So who is really grossed out now?

A friend dropped me a line today and reminded me of the term f*ck trophy. I hadn’t heard that one in ages and bust out laughing. Perhaps I was once overheard saying, “You damn breeders can leave your little ill-behaved, loud, obnoxious f*ck trophies at home!”

I’d just gotten back from the hoity-toity mall here in town (you know…the one where there are tons of people but nothing much to buy). The Barnes and Noble had about a 45 minute wait just to check out. I guess they never heard of Amazon.

Last night I drank beer. Rare event for me. Many locals drink beer and many know about it. One thing that everyone I know says is how bad the Starr Hill beer is, although they do spend a lot promoting the product. Spending the bucks seems to have worked, since they got bought by that company responsible for Bud Light. Maybe the next Elian/Bud Light incident will take place here in C-Ville and involve a new Starr Hill commercial. Nothing like the good old days. Pre-YouTube. Wow.