Live wire down on Water Street. Bus station currently closed. Emergency crews out in force….
After spending millions of dollars to rent a big old leaky bank, the BoxerLearning sign no longer sits over the city staring at locals, tourists, and students. It now has a sign saying the new luxury hotel will be opening in 2k9. Are you ready for the bar on the top floor? Mmm….vodka.
Breaking news….the 4th Street underpass is once again running both ways (not that there is anything wrong with that). Apparently the village elders read my incessant ranting about it.
More news as it develops. It’s 10pm. Do you know where your children are?
From earlier today at the AT&T store. Thanks to Tipster T for passing these along. The line wrapped around the building.
Milano has left the “I put the Kabbash on you” strip mall on Main (will that last another year?) and will be opening up tomorrow morning right next to South Street Brewery. Has Milano raised their prices drastically as the other mall-based caffeine establishments have in the past few months?
I hope they don’t take any bullets through their window. They’ll be on the block where this Obama sign has been used to plug the bullet hole in a window since last year.
Anyone notice all the military helicopters zipping around our skies today? I guess things are getting set up for the visit of Bush. As always, Virginia probably feels inferior to Texas as far as guns go. Of course, I don’t think Texas can top the VT exhibition of gun power. The locals love Bush and are probably polishing all their guns now.
Rather than fight for tickets I think I’ll sit around thinking about much more important things…the future of the Dump Bowel Movement (DBM) band. The sax player got seriously injured doing some off roading. Is Crapshaw shitting his pants wondering if royalties will go up or down?
Other notes of the day: How many remember the guy getting a cup of coffee and then robbing a bank one block from the police station? You may remember what used to be in there before that bank… Enterprise Travel. Just before the bank moved in they had that lovely mall-front location. As things tightened up they moved in below the bank (next to the safe that was put in). Well, last Friday they printed out their last airplane ticket, and shut down the engine. Hard to see how travel agencies can stay in business today.
In local media, the C-Ville promoted taking breeder results to a local sushi/martini establishment, as well as every other place on the mall. They love those stupid breeder results around here. Change diapers on tables, let them run around everywhere, have them smoke cigs, ignore them as they grab at the crotch of innocent civilians…the list goes on. If you aren’t going to fill up the breeder results with a martini, keep them locked up. As I recall, juvenile detention centers are the best place for your results. Are all the breeders around here crazy? Perhaps they should all raise kids that shoot at cars for fun on 64.
I’ve been asked nine times in the past two weeks as I read the NYTimes during Sunday brunch, “Where can I get one of those?” I basically responded that you can’t get one on the mall. There is also only one machine that gets the Washington Post on Sunday. Why can’t this supposedly educated village get a god damned newspaper that has more than one stupid “feel good about the village” story (you know…the Daily Regress)? Why did the rich guy who used to be a big whig from Playboy give up on his newspaper stand? Did he realize this village is full of idiots?
Are you all happy that utilities went up 18% today? That goes so well with my property assessment going up 16% (or more) for the past four years in a row. Have the village elders not realized we are in a depression? I really wonder how they live with themselves. I guess they are so rich they just don’t give a shit. This is a true have or have not community.
I saw four guys dressed up in Confederate outfits over by UVA today with rifles. What the f*ck was up with that? Is the South about to rise again? Was that the secret service getting ready to protect Bush? Are you allowed to run around with rifles anywhere you want if you have on a Confederate uniform?
I really hate to see the bums in town that have dogs. They mistreat them so much. One guy beat the crap out of his dog today when it barked. What was I to do? Go after the guy that probably has five guns on him, or at least three knives? I took the loser way out and decided not to die today. The dogs don’t deserve that. I guess that is part of Virginia. The Vick syndrome.
I really need a drink. C-Ville does that to people.
The tallest structure ever put up in C-Ville. I guess it will be used to put the bar up on the 9th floor of our new luxury hotel.
I’ve often wondered how C-Ville has managed to avoid becoming a modern place (actually it boggles me how backwards this entire state is). Perhaps it is things such as roller derby and arm wrestling contests by a gaggle of gals. Of course with names such as The Homewrecker and The Prim Reaper you have to wonder.
When does mud wrestling start? Who remembers Stripes? I don’t think Ox had a good match that day.
Seems as if the thief of the $2000 six foot hot dog has been captured. Local news rocks.
Other highlights of the week: Locals need “collective decision” next time bad weather occurs during a concert. From what I heard the panic at the musical marshmallow was severe that evening with people running and screaming everywhere. Or maybe that was just all the kids the drunk smokers had brought to the concert. Hard to say since I was cowering in my basement as the drizzle fell. OK..that is also an exaggeration. I was actually watching a hockey game.
And speaking of storms causing panic, the local stations got so excited since there was something to report about that they canceled all the shows that evening so reporters could show rain falling on cars that were parked in the downtown area. They scrapped Survivor, CSI, yada yada, etc. My favorite report was the one with a reporter up near Monticello saying, “There are no signs of mudslides, but there is a bit of mud sliding across the road.” He was then asked if there was any traffic in the area and he said, “Well, a car just went by and it was going much to fast. Please be sure to tell the viewers to slow down.” I wonder how many viewers were driving at that time. Anyway…speaking of reporters, the poll will be going back up tomorrow (hopefully, so get ready to vote once again for the hottest of NBC29 – other networks will start the following week).
I’d continue this post…but yet another tornado watch has been issued. Another night of heavy rain is here. Good thing I have a national feed for TV so I can watch the Survivor finale.
