outskirts: life and times in charlottesville

As we all know, squirrels are not loved around here. Just last year a squirrel caused a blackout that took power down to most of the village.

In an effort to deal with this growing epidemic of power hungry squirrels, the village is doing all it can in current construction efforts. On the historic downtown mall you can see the remains of a tree that some squirrels called home.

Just off the mall things are even a bit more drastic. Many morning commuters park out on Garrett and have to fight off squirrels constantly. Since the 2nd round of Norcross Station construction has started the developers went right in and eradicated the home of the defenseless squirrels. Below are the before and after photos. Five out of six trees were eradicated. I’m sure a few new shrubs will get planted though.

Tourist are also a problem that we must deal with. With the downtown mall construction in full swing, the walkways are unbelievably narrow, particularly for people in wheel chairs or that are just a bit on the large size (aka most locals). It only makes sense that some stores on the mall, particularly those that cater to the rich and famous, should place advertising in the middle of the path. This insures that no two people can ever walk side by side while sightseeing, and also makes it clear that no wheel chairs are welcome in this area.

Feel free to go measure the distance between the sign and the walls. There isn’t room for a wheel chair. I wonder how many rules are getting broken here. Oh well.

Another clear sign of the hatred of tourists is the most recent graffiti on the Garrett Wall. Based on my skills of reading graffiti, I believe this one is saying that if you a) wear yellow, b) smile, c) look like a banana, or d) ride a skateboard you will be given a ticket and then “erased” less than a week later.

Tourists…you are as wanted as squirrels. Good riddance to all of you. Now, where is my downtown supermarket?

The excessive noise due to construction on the mall has totally decreased productivity among white collar workers, but that is not important. The important thing is getting done on time.

The group that got the 7.5 million dollar contract has contracted out to non-C-Ville people. No wonder things are moving so quickly. People are working on Sundays, and when it rains. I seem to recall that when the half a block project next to Chap’s was getting done by locals that a) work was almost never occurring, b) it took about twice as long as expected, and c) no one ever worked on a weekend.

My how things have changed.

Along with that change comes the possibility of the next big city burn down. As we know, locals love to smoke.

Unfortunately, many of the smoker trash cans are now out of reach, or are entirely removed. Thus, butts get thrown all around. The mall is now almost impassable to fire engines, and hydrants are all surrounded by the dreaded green walls.

This combination of facts can only lead to one thing.

(artist’s conception)

I never observed any flames…but I wasn’t on the scene right away. My guess is a deep fat fried turkey was overcooked late in the evening. This is on Monticello Road sort about a block from Spudnuts.

Update: House was gutted. Word has it that the cause was… you guessed it… Virginia’s favorite product… the cig.

A shot from a skating rink that was set up next to the Port of San Francisco in a small park. I was debating where to eat and noticed a few people skating that evening. I ended up doing Thai food that night.

This morning the mall rebricking project began. The city has vowed the entire mall will be done by May Day. The last time some rebricking was done it took about two years to do half a block. This project is vastly larger. I’m predicting August based on Day 1 and historical evidence.

First brick being attacked with a hammer.

Five hours later a few dozen bricks were gone.

Here in Virginia we went for a blue President for the first time in a billion years (approximately). When walking away from the voting booth the helpers always offer you one of those little “I voted” stickers. In downtown C-Ville they had two options: the traditional little flag, and one that had the full blown Obama logo on it.

What happened to the law that you couldn’t wear any promotional material inside the polling station? Perhaps just “holding” the stickers in your hand doesn’t count as wearing. Oh well. As we know, elections are always a little fishy around here. How else could the devil have sat in office for a few years (I miss the devil).

Charlottesville loves to put art up all over town so that they can promote it in promotional materials. I wonder what this tin woman will do for tourism. When teaching your breeder results about politics do you think this is a good thing to show them? Why are the boobs so pointy daddy?

Did the artist put the “vote” sign on it, or did some local zealot do that? Curious minds want to know.

For those that missed it Charlottesville almost got eradicated due to a near nuclear meltdown at our local reactor.

Although the exact reason for the meltdown was not provided, some believe it was caused by ghosts.

In an effort to avoid the eradication of the village in the future a massive protest was staged on the historic downtown mall yesterday afternoon. Police had a difficult time maintaining control as the crowds started screaming that we should go back to the old “TJ days” when someone would just use a big fan to keep you cool.

Locals march in favor of alternative energy.

As many people know, parking is quite an issue here in town. I noticed this lovely little sign in the windshield of a car that took a good rest in a loading zone.

Anyone got a printer, hair dryer, and saran wrap I could borrow?

This was painted on an alley wall along the downtown mall. I guess some locals can’t wait until Thursday evening. I’ll be watching Survivor.